Tag: mom guilt

Another life lesson from the time of Covid 19

A year ago this past weekend I was in Orlando, Florida for the Run Disney Princess Weekend races. I looked forward to going for over a year. My first big trip for a race weekend and I was planning to run back to back days a 10K and a Half Marathon. But as the weekend approached the mom guilt hit big. I’m talking huge. I felt badly about going alone. I felt badly about leaving my family for a long weekend. I know my husband, who is super supportive is also more than capable of caring for our children. Yes, I know I’m allowed to go places without my children, but it’s so rare even before Covid that I traveled anywhere without them that I felt all sorts of guilt. In this Covid world if I’m gone for a few hours it’s like I’ve been gone for days.

Fast forward a year and here’s what I would’ve told myself as I was feeling guilty:

  1. ENJOY every minute of quality alone time you get! No really, while I enjoyed the time in Orlando and even took a nap with those 2:30 AM wake up calls, that guilt still nagged me a bit and sucked a little bit of the fun from the experience. Quality alone time is hard to come by- so if you get it- revel in it. Enjoy the time. Make the minutes matter!
  2. Get over the damn mom guilt already. Let me say that again for those of you in the back….GET OVER THE MOM GUILT. Ok, truth be told I’m saying it for myself. I struggle with this big time. So I have to remind myself that being a good mom doesn’t mean spending every minute of every day with your kids. Being a good mom means making your kids and family a priority while still carving out the time to do the things that bring you joy. Being a good mom is setting an example for your children.
  3. Refilling your cup will make you better in the end. We’ve all heard the expression that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Well COVID has certainly drained our cups and made the day to day harder because let’s be real it’s been like Groundhog Day for nearly a year! When all this madness ends- take the time. Refill your cup. Reward yourself for being strong and maintaining some sense of normal for you and your family! Feeling guilty about thinking about refilling your cup?? See number two above.
  4. Go to new places!! I basically never travel alone. I have no reason to. It’s not that I’m not able to do it. Heck, I traveled plenty by myself before kids, but once you have kids if you are like me your alone travel time diminishes. Running has afforded me the “excuse” to try new things and go new places. Granted this can be as a family as well, it doesn’t have to fall into the get away alone category. COVID certainly put the brakes on the travel and the racing component but eventually it will come back. And you know what? I’m going to pick on race a year to travel to. Not necessarily far and hopefully to coordinate with visiting family and friends, but I’m going new places!
  5. Don’t take things for granted! It’s safe to say that pre-Covid we in general took a lot for granted. I’m not saying we weren’t grateful or didn’t appreciate different opportunities. But, I’m not sure I ever envisioned the uncertainty of in person racing. I certainly took for granted the fact that I could toe the starting line after training hard and run with a group of people for the amazing experience of running a race and finishing with your family cheering you on! I took for granted the ease of travel. Even with kids we traveled frequently around their school schedule. To basically been grounded for a year has been incredibly difficult. We keep adding to our post Covid list of places that we want to visit. I could go on and on- but I would also add- don’t go back to “normal.” If normal was crazy, busy, and making you unfulfilled then don’t go back to that place. Use the lessons learned from this Covid period to be selective in those activities that you continue to pursue. Be careful with your time. Keep doing the things that bring you joy!

The long and short of it- do what brings you joy and live for today because tomorrow isn’t guaranteed!

Last Minute Entry- Chanukah Hot Chocolate 5K- December 8, 2019

Thursday, December 5th I said to my husband, I think I’ll run that 5K on Sunday. It’s close and convenient. Originally we had talked about all going as a family but our oldest had a commitment in the morning so I decided to just go alone. So Friday at 4:00 PM, I registered. Friday at 6:00 PM my oldest spiked a crazy high fever that he would continue to run throughout the weekend and into the next week. With little sleep and Mom guilt I got up and out on Sunday morning for the race. I really had no plan throughout 2019 as to what races I would run, as I found them I signed up if they worked for our schedule. But I had never decided quite so last minute to run a race.

This was the first time I would run a 5K since June. Much had changed since June. In June I had been running for just about three months. I had not yet started to go to the trainer and it was my first race in nearly twenty years. Fast forward to December of 2019. I had been running consistently for nearly ten months. Going to the trainer for five months. Not to mention I had run several longer races. The temperature was also significantly different. As opposed to hot and humid it was quite chilly!!

Off I went, with the promise of “Mommy Snuggles” when I returned. Oh, and yes, he wanted to know if I was going to win this one too. I knew there was a chance I could be first overall female. But I gave my usual response, of trying my best!

The race was run primarily on the campus of the local Jewish Community Center. It was much hiller than I was expecting it to be but it was a good course. There were approximately 150 other runners. At the start I might of been taking inventory of the other women out there that morning and who I thought was in my age category. Race, running is a personal sport and I simply wanted to beat my time from June. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t competitive. Another woman and I went out basically together. Here’s where running is a mental sport. She was slightly ahead of me for the first mile and a half. But I was staying with her, could see her. However, I convinced myself that she was 1) a more seasoned runner and 2) was clearly faster than me. Do I know either of those things for certain…absolutely not. So I pushed on but I also resigned myself to the fact that I couldn’t catch her. Turns out she finished 31 seconds faster than I did. So what’s that 10 seconds a mile. Seemingly not much, but in reality a pretty good amount when you consider the following:

  • I had hoped to finish in under 25:00.
  • I ran 3 miles the day before in 25:50
  • I finished the race in 24:27.
  • I finished the June 5K race in 26:57

So rather than focusing on what it would have taken to be first overall female, I focused on:

  • The amount of time I took off my time from June…2 minutes and 30 seconds!!
  • The fact that I hadn’t run a 24 minute 5K in A LOT OF YEARS!!
  • Oh, and I won my age category so my kids still think I won.

In all seriousness, I don’t know if I could have run any faster than the 24:27. That was already shaving a considerable amount of time off my other times. But I do know I got into my own head during the race. Whether that changed the outcome or not I don’t know. I’m still super proud of my finish, had a fun time and rounded out my first running year back with a great race!