Tag: Mom life

Holy Moly- It’s October!!

It’s October 2nd. September was literally the longest, yet shortest month ever. Anyone else find September to be complete madness? It’s back to school- and everyone is getting back into a routine. For me it’s the height of Jewish holiday season- which means lots of meals and time at services. While I enjoy both- when they fall “early” and in the middle of the week it just makes life a bit more challenging. This year I added the whole still transitioning to my new job, I have lots of night events to the mix. And this year and only this year it will also be the month after my father died. The time when I keep going left foot, right foot, getting the things done knowing something totally random had the potential to set me off at any time. It was my highest mileage since June. It was also a read four books kind of month. September was a MONTH. But here we are and it’s October. I’m sitting outside with a sweatshirt- (oh man I love fall weather), blogging, meal planning and downloading my next read to my Kindle (despite having a stack of books that keeps growing in my room to read). But I’m also sitting here thinking that a quarter of the year remains. While part of me is already thinking of goals for 2022 (yes, I already have my Erin Condren planner ready to go) the other part of me is like slow your roll you have a quarter of this year remaining to do great things.

A few years ago I started setting goals for the year- writing a letter to myself of the things that I hoped to accomplish for the given year. FYI the first year I did this I just realized was 2020. I’m sitting here laughing because we barely got quarter of 2020 in before Covid hit. In looking at my list for 2021 some of the items are checked off; others will not get accomplished (sorry to say 1500 miles is looking like it isn’t going to happen) but there’s still time for others. Like running an in person marathon!! Here I come NYC!!! Or sneaking away for the weekend with my husband. This year isn’t over- there is a lot still to come- a lot to still focus on! Time to double down on the focus and keep moving forward.

Basically most of my thoughts are focused on the NYC Marathon right now. It’s a little over a month away. Once it’s over it will practically be Thanksgiving and before you know it the year will be over. Yikes!! Now it’s time to start holiday shopping! I’m joking- but really it’s time to get started and cross that stuff off your list! PS I highly recommend Book of the Month…basically for everyone! It has helped broaden my reading repertoire and reconnect with my best friend from college. It’s also like I’m already mentally preparing to check out after the marathon, like my year will be over. Clearly it will be far from over, but I’ll be cruising with my miles for the remainder of the year and pick up more strength training as I won’t be as concerned about miles.

So what are some way to close out this last quarter of the year with a bang?? Those goals or resolutions, if you are a resolution maker can actually happen now. You don’t need to wait until 2022 to drink more water and less wine- exercise more or get more organized. Start doing it today!!! It’s a little dorky- but then again so am I, but I make little check boxes in my planner for the things I want to focus on. There’s just something about checking off the box to give me the satisfaction of knowing that I made that item a priority. For example, I’m going to be dialing in on my nutrition this month and water consumption. And also- getting back to bed by 10:00 PM. In other words- trying to get my body as physically ready as possible to run the NYC Marathon.

But I’m also over here thinking about my reading goal for the year. My goal was 36 books. The start of the year was slow with reading because I was reviewing NYU applications so my reading really picked up in March. I’m at 34 books right now. So now I’m thinking- can I read 48?? I feel like I have the ability to get another 10 books read before the end of the year. So I’m doubling down on that goal too- bumping 36 books to a reach goal of 48, but probably a more realistic goal of 44. But we shall see. Which you know, already has me thinking about whether I can read 52 books next year. Keep in mind I read 16 books last year, so I’ve already doubled that with more to come. I might be a little overzealous with my goal of 52 (kind of like I was with running 1500 miles have running 1300 and change last year- but I’m definitely considering it for 2022.

So what are you going to do with the remaining quarter of the year? There are the things we can control and the ones that we have no control over. Covid has certainly taught me that. I don’t like it, but I’ve come to accept it a bit better. Focus on the things you can control. Take charge in the areas of your life that you know need focus today- don’t wait for some day in the future. Oh and balance that with understanding you can only do so much. Enjoy the time with family and friends, curl up with the book, go for a walk. Let’s crush 2021 and go into 2022 stronger. That’s not to say 2021 was perfect…far from it. But that we took the highs and lows from the year and allowed them to make the best versions of ourselves. And that best version of us is closing out 2021 strong while banging on 2022’s door saying I’m ready- let’s do this!

Having fun- learning and surviving in the summer

Show of hands- who is excited for not having to be up and out the door for school every morning?? How many of those hands are still up for those who like the idea of less structure but still need some structure? Do you follow? The idea of not having to get up at 5:00 AM and exercise, shower and get out the door by 7:30 AM is really a beautiful thing. As someone who stayed at home full time with the boys until they were school age, I also recognize that having a bit of structure in our day is critical for survival. While the years are short my friend, some days are LONG, very, very long.

Camp Mom has been a part of every summer. Truth be told some summers were purely Camp Mom. Last summer, for example was the summer of COVID, it was like Camp Mom on steroids because we couldn’t even go anywhere. But we aren’t there we are in 2021. The summer we get to go on family vacation again, the summer we return to camp for a few weeks, another summer where the boys and I have identified the key activities for Camp Mom. I’m not going to lie, I love that they call it that and I love that regardless of the other camp activities that they are signed up for in the summer they both specifically ask for some Camp Mom time too!

So in case you are wondering, I’m one of those Moms. What does that mean exactly? It means that I’m a card carrying Member of Lakeshore Learning. That we have books to stop the summer slide and we start each day with “morning work” after breakfast. I’m not talking hours, but enough time to keep using those skills they worked so hard to gain this year and keep their brains working. Truth be told we haven’t tested this Morning Work routine when actually going to camp, so time will tell for how it works during that time period. But for the first three weeks of summer break and the last three weeks of summer break there will be Morning Work! I’m talking about a little bit of phonics, reading and writing, some math. We make it fun and it’s how we start the day. Then we can check it off our list for the day.

Speaking of lists, I thought it was really important to create a check list of sorts to earn screen time this summer. We were blessed that when the boys’ school pivoted virtually l last year that Jackson received an iPad to take home for the summer and then through the school year. The time came for his iPad to get returned and we made the choice with the fact that we are fingers crossed going to have some family travel coming up to get them each a basic iPad. They love using apps such as Kodable, PBS Kids, EPIC Books, Brain Pop and Brain Pop Jr. In order to limit the number of times I get asked if they can use their iPads, we came up with a system. A daily check list, to get the must do items done before the want item of using the iPad. I’m fully aware that there are going to be some days that we don’t necessarily complete the checklist before getting the iPad time, but at least it’s a guide to strive for each day. Many of these items would/do happen without the use of the checklist, but it’s helpful to have a guide or wish list.

Butterflies make the Camp Mom to do list every summer. We’ve used the same kit for a number of years so we are going to live big and get a new one this year. I’ll order this kit in the next week or two so that we can have later July/Early August butterflies.

This summer we are going to have a new addition. Both boys love coding. Both boys love LEGO. What could be better than the ability to build and then code movements for a LEGO robot?? One of the boys’ STEM teachers was super helpful in determining what I should order. They don’t know it yet, but this week we are going to introduce Spike into Camp Mom. Take a look here! Scratch the they don’t know part- as they just walked up as I was typing. I got delayed as we set up the box of LEGO so that first thing tomorrow….after morning work we can begin building with Spike. Can’t wait to see what fun we can have with this new addition!

I might be the most excited about this next plan for Camp Mom, but I have a feeling the boys will be too. Somewhere along the line they both determined that they like poetry. Carter is obsessed with Shel Silverstein and Jackson loves writing acrostic poems. So, I’m putting together a little poetry unit for Camp Mom. We kicked it off today by making acrostic poems for Father’s Day cards for my dad. FYI POP POP doesn’t really lend itself to too many options, but we made it work. Next we are going to brainstorm words that we want to turn into acrostic poems. Some we will do as individual work but others we will do together and make them funny. It’s something simple but an activity such as this even allows Carter to be thinking about what words start with a particular letter and practice some penmanship all at the same time.

After lunch most days is a time for reading. Be sure to check out my previous post for some reading ideas. The reality is that we spend time reading off an on throughout the day but our organized reading occurs mid afternoon. Spoiler alert I frequently doze off during this reading time as it’s the first time I take a seat for the day. The boys use this as an opportunity to suggest that maybe we should watch a show for a bit so I can rest my eyes.

Outside time is also a must. However, this first week home the weather left a lot to be desired. Oh and we are dealing with cicadas. So we have been sticking indoors for the time being. Once the weather settles down and the cicadas go away we will spend time outside on the playground, playing lacrosse, tennis, in our deck pool. You can never go wrong with bubbles either.

Activities don’t have to be overly complicated and your choice in what to do doesn’t have to mirror ours, but I would argue that having a schedule keeps things on track and increases the chances of you maintaining your sanity. Pick things that you and your kids enjoy learning more about. Another example of a something we are going to work on in the coming weeks is learning all about Maine before our trip there later this summer. So every day isn’t necessarily the same. Our camp weeks will look different too. But I find that the boys and I thrive when we know what to expect out of the day.

Tell me what are you favorite go-to summer activities?

Life reflections at 40- find what brings you joy!

In January I hit a birthday milestone….the big 4…0. I wasn’t bothered by turning 40 but rather took it as an opportunity to truly reflect on life over the last decade. Ten years is a VERY long time. This exercise of course made me think of all the changes in the preceding decades. So let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we??

At the age of 20 I found myself a sophomore in College. Living alone for nearly two years on my own. Making the way to do well in college so I could subsequently complete my life goal of becoming a lawyer and go to law school. Still young, enjoying life. But still an old soul in many ways.

Now let’s look at what happened in my life between 20-30. So much it even makes my head spin, and this is just the stuff I’m thinking about off the top of my head.

  • Met my now husband of 14 years
  • Graduated College
  • Attended and graduated Law School
  • Got my first “real” job as a law clerk during law school that that became my first job as a Criminal Prosecutor that I had for 8 years.
  • Got engaged
  • Got married
  • Traveled A LOT
  • Lost my mother-in-law to cancer shortly before my 30th birthday

So now let’s take a look at 30-40 shall we?

  • At 32 became a mom for the first time.
  • Left my dream job of being a prosecutor to fulfill my new dream role as a Mom.
  • Learned my Dad had early onset Alzheimer’s.
  • Welcomed our second child at 34.
  • Traveled A LOT…even with kids!
  • Started a variety of businesses that I could work from home to fulfill my desire to get my brain working again.
  • Threw myself into volunteering, especially at the boys’ school.
  • Started running again. Ran races in 4 states. Distances include 5K, 10K, 12 miles, Half Marathon and Marathon.
  • Became a substitute teacher.

When I was less than ten, I knew that I wanted to be a lawyer. I have no idea why, it’s not like I even knew any lawyers. I was the first in my family to go to college and I had this clear goal of going to law school. That goal then became to become a prosecutor. Hands down, being a prosecutor was the VERY BEST JOB IN THE WORLD. I loved the fact that I was in court multiple days a week. I loved trying cases and I tell you that there’s nothing like waiting for a jury verdict to be returned after trying the very best case possible. But you’ll notice I made a distinction between JOB and ROLE with motherhood. While many think Motherhood is the very best job in the world, I don’t necessarily believe it’s a job but rather the very best ROLE that we can ever be given. We have the opportunity to shape the lives of human beings, of the next generation. To hopefully give them the tools and skills to succeed. To teach them to be kind, respectful and to show gratitude.

When we learned that we were going to become parents we made the choice that I was going to stay home, leave the practice of law. Now don’t get me wrong there are many, many woman who successfully balance both being a mother and the practice of law or any number of other professions. And I recognize that many would like the opportunity to be at home rather than having to go to work. So my disclaimer (because I still think like a lawyer) is this: everyone has to do what works best for their family and for them professionally. We did what worked for us. No judgments either way. Because, yes, I’ve heard it… “you went to school for all of those years, just to say home and be a mom?” Harsh right? Who are we to judge others and the choices they make. And PS there’s nothing wrong with being “just a mom.” Quite honestly, it’s the most important damn thing you can do if you are blessed with children. Being present and providing for your children whether financially or mentally or both is of critical importance to raising good human beings!

I’ve talked a lot in my various online communities about having passion and joy for what you do. Trust me, I’m not all sunshine and rainbows. You could have the very best job, a job that you love and it can be stressful and hard and you might not feel too passionate about it day in and day out. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t the right job…or it might mean you need to find passion in a hobby or somewhere else to balance out the stress. I had passion for the law like no one’s business. And it’s still in there. But right now I have passion for parenting like it’s my job. So for me that means finding professional passion in different arenas to maintain my mental stamina while “Momming” the way that I want.

I know a lot of shade is thrown at various work from home businesses that get called dirty things like “pyramid schemes” or are said to prey on mothers and take all their money. I’m here again to say…stop the judging!! My first foray with an at home business was Usborne books. I’m an avid reader and always have been. I was the mom to two small boys, and I was looking for an outlet 1) to meet other moms, 2) make a few dollars and 3) get some awesome books for my boys. Guess what, we couldn’t have two kids who are more into books. As in we still have books in every room in our house and in the car. Whether they got that from the fact that they grew up with me talking about and sharing books with others or it was innate we will never really know. But what I do know, is that if they got nothing more from my time with Usborne Books I would be happy. Because a love of reading can take you so many different places.

Why do I share this interlude? Well, until both the boys were in school full time I worked and still do a variety of businesses from home. Basically, I would find really awesome products that I loved like accessories and skincare (Stella & Dot/Ever) and it would bring me joy to share those products with others. It would also fulfill a need to go out and do parties to socialize with other adults when I was otherwise at home with the boys. Then came Zyia Active. Why Zyia Active?? Let’s be real, I was running all the miles and needed all the gear so if I was buying it all I might has well share it with others. Seriously, it became an opportunity to share why I loved the products for running, while making some of the very best friends who “live in my computer.” Next up, when I learned that drinking soda and eating cheddar cheese goldfish was not a good life eating plan I began making better eating choices. I’m joking a little bit, but seriously my diet needed an overall. Not in an attempt to lose weight but rather, to eat better and ultimately to be a better example for my boys. So along came Arbonne.

My friend Suzy always likes to joke about whether I expected to be selling leggings when I was in law school. The answer is a big fat NO. But I did always expect to be working hard and setting a good example for my children. Let’s be real parenting can and is a full time job. For real. I needed more without the grind of working outside the home so that I could still be fully available to the boys. I like to say that you have to find passion and joy along the way and the things/activities/hobbies/employment that bring you joy can change. There are different stages of our life and what works during one stage may not work during another. For example, when I was a prosecutor I was one of the first in the office and one of the last to leave. That’s my personality. All in 110%. Knowing I couldn’t do that and Mother the way I wanted to meant that I had to make a change. So I put 110% into raising our tiny humans. That was a stage of life that required my full attention. As they got a little bit older, I still give them 100% but then used that other 10% to find areas that interested me and brought me joy. In come the various home business opportunities. Then came the opportunity to do a professional job remotely in reviewing college applications. This was a game changer for me and allowed me to use my background in admissions to work from home. It also got me thinking about what other opportunities there would be in the educational realm as the boys got older.

Now I’m at a new stage. My boys are both in school full time. Woah nelly, there were tears. I mean my own because they couldn’t have been happier and truly LOVE school. So there were about 4 days that I was home before I started subbing at school. That was long enough. Definitely no moss growing on me. Always on the move. I’ve been regularly subbing every week since and guess what it brings me joy in ways I never thought possible. 1) I’m present at school and get to see my kiddos for a passing hug, while it’s still cool to hug some at school (may they always think it’s cool) 2) I love to learn and to teach. In many ways, trying a case was “teaching” the jury what happened. Would you believe that’s how I look at a lesson plan? Average class size of about 12. You’re talking to a jury each and every day. It’s not necessarily a jury of your peers but it’s a group that you need to break down information and share it to in a way that’s easily comprehended and retained. Boom, who knew law school was really teaching me to be an educator. 3) Watching the lightbulb go on as children learn something for the first time or you help them with something is truly fulfilling. I’m loving this new stage so very much. It feels like a balance between “Momming so hard” and having a professional version of myself that I lacked for along time.

So, when I was 10 or even 20 for that matter I wouldn’t have necessarily mapped out this life plan. But I’ve learned a serious lesson over the last decade- you don’t have to be one thing in life. For many the era of having one job at the same employer for thirty years is gone. I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing because you have the opportunity to recreate yourself at the various stages. Furthermore, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. Don’t put off until tomorrow hat you can do today. Live each day to its fullest. Find joy in what you do. And live your life with passion!